Satire: 3 nonsensical Sixers mock trades for a post-Luka-Laker world

Sixers
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – JANUARY 16: Joel Embiid #21 of the Philadelphia 76ers and Nikola Jokic #15 of the Denver Nuggets speak following a game at the Wells Fargo Center on January 16, 2024 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)

I want to preface this article by stating just how upset I am, not just as a Sixers writer but as a basketball purist. Luka Doncic being traded to the Los Angeles Lakers without requesting out of Dallas is, quite literally, one of the most shocking and unfathomable trades in the history of professional sports. It sets an awful precedent for a multi-billion dollar corporation that they can just blindside the second-best basketball player on the planet and backhandedly rub his name in the dirt on the way out.

For perspective, I despise the Boston Celtics just as much as the next Philadelphian, but if they erroneously traded away Jayson Tatum with no warning for Damian Lillard, I would feel quite similarly to how I do about this Mavericks debacle. You just do not mess with your homegrown, generational talents- and generational might be an understatement for Luka Doncic.

It did, however, get me thinking about some potential galaxy-brained Sixers trades that can no longer be considered stupid! This will in no way trigger anybody, and of course —insert wink here, everyone is going to understand that these are now very feasible and even possibly on the table!

Here is what I came up with:

Paul George and a 2031 first-round pick to OKC for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

This one should be an easy conversation starter for Daryl Morey. The OKC Thunder have spent their entire franchise’s existence with a superstar on the roster. This trade might get rid of one superstar, but it also brings a superstar back that Sam Presti is already very comfortable with!

Sixers
Jan 14, 2025; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder guard Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (2) drives for a shot past Philadelphia 76ers forward Guerschon Yabusele (28) during the third quarter at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-Imagn Images

The dialogue should go something like this:

“Hey, Sam, it’s Daryl. Remember that one time Paul George finished third in MVP voting while playing for the Thunder? I would argue that is the best basketball he has ever played in his career.”

“Of course I remember, Daryl. Then, I was taken aback by having to ship him to the Clippers when I thought we had a really good thing going. It did not sit well with me. We are very happy with Shai, but I will not forget that embarrassment.”

“Well, Sam, what if I told you that you have the chance to right that wrong today? I will give you Paul George back and even give you a first round pick because I like you, all we need is SGA.”

“Done.”

It’s that easy!

Kelly Oubre and Eric Gordon to Phoenix for Kevin Durant

The Phoenix Suns are the NBA equivalent of the New Orleans Saints. They keep kicking the can down the road, trying to preserve a championship window that is not even open. This trade would help them finally reset their expectations and get ready for the next era of Suns basketball.

Sixers
Jan 6, 2025; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA; Phoenix Suns forward Kevin Durant (35) controls the ball in front of Philadelphia 76ers guard Kelly Oubre Jr. (9) during the second quarter at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-Imagn Images

Kevin Durant, Devin Booker, and Bradley Beal all have pretty redundant skill sets, and their favorite area of the floor to operate is in the mid-range. Take Durant’s age and injury concerns out of the picture and replace him with 2 guys who are unafraid to fire up three-pointers, and you may just get a more diverse offense!

Devin Booker can go back to running the show, and Oubre can be the perfect running mate for him, especially on the defensive end of the floor. Really is a no-brainer for either side when you think about it!

Joel Embiid to Denver for Nikola Jokic

The Nuggets won their first championship just two years ago, but after an epic meltdown in the Western semifinals last season against the Timberwolves, coupled with Jamal Murray‘s regression as a basketball player, this team obviously does not have what it takes to win anymore! They even got rid of Kentavious Caldwell-Pope for crying out loud!

Sixers
Jan 31, 2025; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA; Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid (21) reacts with Denver Nuggets center Nikola Jokic (15) after the game at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Kyle Ross-Imagn Images

Nikola Jokic deserves better! And what better way to elevate the man who elevates everyone else than to soup up the entire roster around him?

Tyrese Maxey has become what Nuggets fans expected Jamal Murray to develop into. Kelly Oubre Jr. might not be as good on paper as Michael Porter Jr., but he provides the team with all the same skills that Porter does, and he does it more consistently. For now, Caleb Martin is a better player than Christian Braun, and he’s a known playoff riser. Tell me the difference between Geurschon Yabusele and Aaron Gordon.

The Sixers would shoot more threes around Jokic than the Nuggets do, and their defense around Jokic would be better as well. And Jokic would finally provide the Sixers with the natural facilitator that they need. It makes all the sense in the world! Waiting on you, Calvin Booth!