What should the Philadelphia Eagles wish for this Christmas?

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Eagles fletcher cox
Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Fletcher Cox (91) reacts after the Dallas Cowboys turnover on downs during the second half of an NFL football game Sunday, Nov. 5, 2023, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

Making plans for fancy feasts or Santa crawls is out of the question for the Eagles this year. The team is hosting the Giants at Lincoln Financial Field on Christmas Day at 4:25 p.m. They’ll be looking to break out of a three-game losing streak while keeping their hopes for the NFC’s No. 1 seed off life support.

Philadelphia has hit a rough patch during a concerning three-week stretch highlighted by locker-room turmoil, unfortunate injuries to key players, and a controversial rearrangement of chairs in the coaching room. Everything appears broken.

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts looks on from the bench during the first half of an NFL football game against the Seattle Seahawks, Monday, Dec. 18, 2023, in Seattle. (AP Photo/Lindsey Wasson)

But, despite the swirling drama, the Eagles still hold a 10-4 record with all their goals firmly in front of them. Win out and pray for a pair of 49ers losses down the stretch. There’s more to it but those are the crib notes.

“We’re in a little bit of a skid right now that I’m very confident that we’ll be able to get out of because of the people that we have in this building and the accountability not only that I hold the standard to for the team and myself, but also what they hold the standard to,” Sirianni told reporters on December 20. “So that hasn’t changed. That hasn’t changed in the slightest because when your core values are deep within you and deep within the roots of this football team because we live them and preach them every single day that we’re in this building.”

Meanwhile, diehard fans from Pottstown to Point Breeze are in panic mode following Monday’s devastating 20-17 road loss to Seattle. Let’s try and stay positive, and take a look at what should be on the Christmas wish list this holiday season:

Eagles Christmas Wish list

1. Free Domestic Calling: The first thing Nick Sirianni needs to do is get on the horn and patch a call through to Shane Steichen. There’s no telling if he’ll pick up the phone — Steichen is the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, after all — but it’s worth a shot. Sirianni needs to get a fresh voice on what’s wrong with the offensive playbook, plus a pep talk on how to play to Jalen Hurts’ strengths.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – AUGUST 02: Philadelphia Eagles offensive coordinator Shane Steichen is interviewed during training camp on July 29, 2022 at the NovaCare Complex in Philadelphia PA.(Photo by Andy Lewis/Icon Sportswire)

2. Sultan of the Slot: The Eagles have a big problem at slot receiver. Quez Watkins isn’t the guy. How much more evidence do we need? His inability to track a deep ball (and potential game-sealing touchdown) with 8:08 showing in the fourth quarter was the last straw. Sure, Jalen Hurts’ throw was a tad off. Sure, Watkins was bumped a little bit. Still, Watkins needed to either make the catch or stop the defensive back from intercepting it. He saw 36 snaps to only 5 for Olamide Zaccheaus. Make a change at the position, then draft a difference-maker in 2024.

3. Dinner with Big Dom: Dom DiSandro is the hero that Philly deserves but not the one it needs right now. The black-balled sideline enforcer can only watch games from the booth but that shouldn’t stop the team from sponging his energy. Here’s an idea: Nick Sirianni takes everyone to Big Dom’s house to celebrate the Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve in what is sure to be a Sopranos meets Hallmark movie moment. Invite all of South Philly while you’re at it!

Philadelphia Eagles chief security officer Dom DiSandro looks on during a press conference following an NFL football game between the Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers, Sunday, Dec. 3, 2023, in Philadelphia. The 49ers won 42-19. DiSandro was ejected from the game after an on-field argument between both teams. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

4. Bubble Wrap: The latest reports say left guard Landon Dickerson is going to miss at least one game after undergoing thumb surgery. Brutal. He joins CB Darius Slay (knee), RT Cam Jurgens (pectoral), and LB Zach Cunningham (pectoral) on the injury report. Meanwhile, Jalen Hurts is throbbing and tired as he battles a bad knee and serious illness. Let’s get the whole squad in a hyperbaric chamber, festooned with holly and jingle bells, until kickoff on Monday — and then cover them up in bubble wrap.

5. Joey Porter: Oh wait, too late. The Eagles had an opportunity to select Joey Porter Jr. with the 30th overall pick in April’s draft. They didn’t. Instead, they took Nolan Smith at the end of the first round and watched the stud cornerback out of Penn State go off the board at No. 32. Hindsight might be 50/50 … but, looking at Smith’s 113 total snaps (8 per game), has been a tough pill to swallow. Especially as Porter continues to thrive in Pittsburgh and Philly’s pass defense struggles.

6. More Kelly Green: The Eagles aren’t expected to don those “sexy ass” kelly green uniforms again this season. Why the heck not? The players love them. The fans can’t buy enough of them. And the Eagles are 2-0 in the two games they strutted out of the tunnel in them. Let’s get those alternate jerseys in Tommy DeVito’s face.

Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Olamide Zaccheaus celebrates after catching a touchdown pass over Buffalo Bills safety Micah Hyde during the second half of an NFL football game Sunday, Nov. 26, 2023, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

7. Frank Reich: Brian Johnson isn’t going anywhere, according to Nick Sirianni. That’s fine. The decision to demote Sean Desai didn’t seem to solve anything while sparking unnecessary drama in the locker room. However, the Eagles could benefit from a new voice in the offensive coordinator’s room and Frank Reich might still have a key to the building. Don’t replace Johnson as the lead play-caller; no, bring Reich in as an offensive consultant to add flavor to a tasteless vanilla offense.

8. Find New Terms, Better Vocabulary: Coach-speak is an acquired taste, one that hits the tongue sour during a three-game losing streak. Here’s the thing: fans don’t want to hear the same cliches week in and week out when the sky is falling. Let’s start with “that’s not our standard.” Ban it. It’s a cop out. Next, let’s nix equally exhausting Jalen-isms like “control what I can control” and “keep the main thing the main thing.” These terms only work when everyone is on the same page. This team is on different chapters and, more alarmingly, they might be reading the wrong book.

AP Photo/Matt Slocum