The ’23 Philadelphia Phillies Broke My FanDuel Account

Philadelphia Phillies’ Alec Bohm, Bryce Harper, Trea Turner and Bryson Stott, from left, celebrate the team’s win over the Miami Marlins in Game 2 of an NL wild-card baseball playoff series Wednesday, Oct. 4, 2023, in Philadelphia. The Phillies swept the series, and move on to face the Atlanta Braves. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

After the conclusion of the 2023 World Series, I am at a loss. A significant green loss. The Philadelphia Phillies could have beaten the Texas Rangers, and I could have made more money.

Alas, I don’t want to gamble, and I have the light beer version of a gambling problem. It’s not a Bud Heavy gambling problem but a ’95 calories or less’ gambling problem.

I spent an entire season throwing $5 or $10 bucks on Kyle Schwarber to hit a home run or Bryson Stott to steal a base. Quite frankly, it was going pretty well.

Not any longer. I don’t care about Ketel Marte recording 2+ bases on Fanduel or Corey Seager for an RBI on DraftKings. I don’t care. This is the kind of mental gymnastics I’m dealing with.

This is why you don’t gamble on your favorite team – eventually, you won’t want to deal with the risk, and you’ll quit. Just look how excited I used to be:

It’s sad, but ultimately, I need to reflect on just how great this season really went. A couple of weeks without Phillies gambling, and I’m starting to get bored.

With all that in mind, I wanted to take a look back at the best and worst bets you all could have made for the 2023 Philadelphia Phillies. There was a lot of good for this group, and hopefully, you were along for the ride.

Philadelphia Phillies – Best Bet of the Season

I’ve been screaming this from the rooftop, but the Phillies banged out home runs in 2023. Take your pick (and I have my best pick if you can be patient), but all this lineup did was hit long balls, and you got great odds all year.

Now, a strategy of ‘bet homers’ doesn’t work on a team like the 2014 Phillies, who only hit 125 total homers. Still, this iteration of Philadelphia’s lineup just smashed 220, the second most in Phillies franchise history.

The 2023 Phillies averaged 1.36 homers per game, but one Broadstreet bully led the way. In the most unsurprising twist of this article, if you bet on Schwarber to hit a home run, you cleaned up 27.5% in the regular season & 30.8% in the postseason.

While many prominent figures in the Phillies lineup were a safe bet this season to go deep, no one cashed in more than Schwarber. He turned a gaggle of $5 bets into much, much more for yours truly. Thank you, Mr. Mendoza.

Honorable mentions: Trea Turner to record 1x stolen base (16.1% chance of hitting in the regular season) or Stott to record 1x stolen base (17.9% chance of hitting in the regular season)

Philadelphia Phillies – Worst Bet of the Season

I couldn’t help myself with Aaron Nola. All I wanted was more and more strikeouts. At first blush, you might have questions. After all, Nola recorded 7+ strikeouts 38% of the time in 2023.

It’s only when you take a look back at 2022 that you’ll realize just how disappointing that is.

Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher Aaron Nola throws against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the first inning in Game 2 of the baseball NL Championship Series in Philadelphia, Tuesday, Oct. 17, 2023. (AP Photo/Brynn Anderson)

Last season, Nola struck out at least seven batters 69% of the time. That’s almost an automatic leg for any long-shot parlay. Well, I lost a lot of money this year watching Nola strike out six and allow four earned runs. A disappointing season from Nola hurt my wallet badly.

Honorable mention: Edmundo Sosa to hit a home run (9.6% chance of hitting in the regular season) – I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t the craziest bet, but I always missed my window.

Photo Credit: (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)