Series Wrap: Phillies and Dodgers call it even


Game 3: God is Crying and I’m Tired

Torrential downpour loomed as flashes of lightning in the distance served as a warning for the citizens of Philadelphia.

Narrator: MEANWHILE in South Philly…

Baseball was being played! The matchup was Nick Pivetta vs Kenta Maeda and both took no-hitters into the 3rd inning. Yet somehow, Pivetta found a way to give up a run.

Unbeknownst to most people, God tuned into this game. When God saw how many walks there were he couldn’t help but shed a tear. The grounds crew, being privy to God’s sadness, called for the tarp to be put on the field and for the fans to be warned of their impending doom.

The game was halted in the top of the second with 1 out and 1 on. If you were sane like I was, you took a nice Knapp (heh).


Pivetta was now long gone as JD Hammer now stood in his place. Kenta Maeda, too, was out of the game.

Mr. Hammer was the first to allow a hit in the game in the fourth inning. It wouldn’t be until the 6th inning when the Phillies recorded their first hit. That inning was also when they tied the Dodgers.

Brad Miller would walk in a run and Adam Haseley would ground out for an RBI, the score now deadlocked at 2-2.

The Phillies bullpen didn’t feel like winning tonight, so Juan Nicasio and Austin “Big Fudge” Davis both allowed multiple runs.

The Dodgers would win at around 1:30 in the morning by a score of 7-2. There were a total of 16 walks issued in the game.

These 2 weary teams would meet each other in just 11 hours.

Nobody slept.


Game 4: YouTube Famous Phillies

The 12:35 pm game is exclusively available on YouTube. Fans on Facebook and Twitter are in an uproar. An angry mob forms similar to that of the mobs against the Facebook exclusive games of yesteryear.

The Dodgers commentary is represented by the great Orel Hershiser. The man representing the Phillies in the booth is none other than…Ben Davis.

Oh Boy.
On the field, it is Aaron Nola vs Ross Stripling.

Neither Nola nor Stripling would make it past the 5th inning. Nola didn’t have the same stuff that he had shown over his past 5 starts.

The Dodgers are up 5-3 and there are still 3 more innings to be pitched by Phillies relievers, oh joy!

In the bottom of the 7th, the Phillies would realize that they were still playing a series and woke up. Adam Hasely nobly sacrificed his body with a HBP to start the inning off HOT. Roman Quinn took up a bat to pinch-hit and was subsequently walked. After a pitching change, Jean Segura singled home a run for the Phillies.

Another pitching change followed. Offseason acquisition Joe Kelly took on the duty of facing Bryce Harper and Rhys Hoskins.

Lucky for the Phillies, it didn’t go well at all. Harper drove Quinn home and Rhys followed by singling Segura AND Harper home.

With the score now 7-5, 8th inning pitching duties fell to Adam Morgan. For the sake of every Philadelphians’ sanity, Morgan pitched a relatively clean inning.

Another potential mental breakdown lied ahead. In his last 7 games coming into today, Hector Neris had a 13.50 ERA in 6ip.

Neris recorded the first 2 outs rather quickly, fooling Phillies fans into a lull. Just when we thought we could breathe, rookie Alex Verdugo slammed an opposite-field home run.

Neris now faced the ginger wonder, Justin Turner. Each pitch was more dramatic than the last. Phillies fans held their breath as an 0-2 fastball turned into a deep fly ball. Both Scott Kingery and Bryce Harper seemed to call for it. Finally, Harper ended the madness.

Phillies split the series, winning 7-6.