The 23rd of December is a day like none other on the calendar. A day marked by an aluminum pole, feats of strength, easily explainable “miracles” and so much more. Of course, we are talking about the holiday for the rest of us: Festivus.
Made popular by the classic sitcom Seinfeld, Festivus was a holiday created as an alternative to the pressures and commercialism of Christmas. Today, in honor of the holiday, we at Philly Sports Network have come together for one of the most treasured of Festivus traditions: the airing of grievances.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy this comical read as our writers air some of their grievances with the teams of Philadelphia as well celebrate a Philly Phestivus.
Philadelphia 76ers
Dasher
I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it. My biggest problem this Phestivus is with the so-called basketball gods. Whether you’re truly gods of ball or merely the worst coverup for the actions of the commissioners, both Stern and Silver, I say enough.
Enough of punishing Philadelphia for the Process, enough of giving Sixers fans their toughest battles, enough of testing every last ounce of strength this fanbase has. Your company stinks and I challenge you to the feats of strength.
Tim
The Sixers went for glamour and didn’t look to provide the team with a quality lineup that could win on a regular basis without Joel Embiid. They were aware of his injury history and current issues, yet they brought in a team that would be hugely successful if all of the stars aligned and Embiid/Paul George were to remain healthy all season. You can’t have a team centered around a center with four shooters when you don’t sign any shooters to the team.
You allow the PG position to be run by guys who are well beyond any playable years and refuse to play the rookie of the month for any significant minutes after he was the best player on the team for a month. (See Doc Rivers stating that Maxey would rather come off the bench. See Nurse relegating McCain, who had just won ROTM to the bench for KJ Martin, Kelly Oubre Jr., and Ricky Council IV minutes.)This whole season has been a sham and the ownership should take a serious look at who they have running the team. Style never wins over substance.
AK
Everyone saw the Paul George move coming and no one was excited about it. It would’ve made more sense to trade Embiid while he still had value to build for 2025-26. I love Embiid but it felt like it was time. Add in a dumb relocation and the Sixers have been a complete joke. Please sell the team to someone who doesn’t own direct rivals to other Philly teams.
Eagles
Liam
A grievance about the Eagles? In 2024? Someone has to be a Scrooge around here, and as a grumpy Brit, I feel it’s only right.
It winds me up that despite the Eagles setting a franchise record for most consecutive wins, and a historic season from Saquon Barkley, people still moan. ‘HuRTs IsNt PaSsInG eNoUgH’ ‘He HaD an OpEn MaN’. So? They won the game and he scored a touchdown on that same play? If they lost by 7, I’d understand. If my aunt had wheels she’d have been a bike, but she didn’t, so she’s not.
The Eagles have proven they can win in multiple ways and are head and shoulders above last year’s team. Just relax enjoy the ride and stop being greedy.
Or I’ll force tea and crumpets down your throat on Christmas Day…nobody wants that.
Phillies
Dancer
The lack of moves in the last year is incredibly frustrating. Austin Hays was never going to work and neither was Whit Merrifield. We hired Dombrowski to win now, and while they’re the most successful they’ve been in ten years, some of the moves are questionable. I’m not okay with ~95 wins and hoping it clicks at the right time. I want to attack the Dodgers. I want to be the team everyone hates because they continue to get guys despite already being favorites to win it all. We have the prospects to do it. Do it.
(Written prior to the Jesus Luzardo acquisition)
Prancer
I have hated MLB’s bag policy since COVID. Directly before, I was able to bring in a whole backpack and a camera bag. I was able to take an amazing picture of Chase Utley from the stands. Now I can’t even bring in a fanny pack if it’s bigger than an index card. Thanks, Rob Manfred.
Shaun
Early in the season, I took my Dad to one of the “Bogo Hot Dog” nights at Citizens Bank Park. We got there, a cold rainy night, and got in line for our half-priced hot dogs. As we got to our seats, we were looking forward to a warm hot dog to bring some modicum of warmth as we awaited first pitch. Instead, we were met with cold, hardly cooked, hot dogs. If it were dollar dog night, maybe I would look past this as dogs are cooked in massive quantity, but not when two hot dogs are $5 (or more if you go to a stand that only has the jumbo hot dog).
In short, cook your hot dogs, and make them a dollar again. If the product on the field is good, you don’t have to worry about a flurry of undercooked meat landing on the field.
Oh, and Taijuan Walker. Time to thank him for his service and move on.
Philadelphia Flyers
Alec
Market your exciting your team better. You have the most exciting Flyers rookie of this millennium. Why does this team feel barely promoted or talked about? Also, let Gritty do whatever he wants. Philly trusts Gritty.
Philadelphia Union
Steve
I have nothing to say other than I hope Jay Sugarman burns his Christmas turkey.
Everyone
Vixen
What’s the breaking point of overcharging for concessions at sporting events? Why would I pay $17 for a beer at this point? It’s not worth it. I still love Bull’s BBQ, however.
Christopher
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” does not apply to the Philadelphia sports scene. From losing two championships on the same day to several 40+ year championship draughts, it takes some Teflon to survive this city’s brutal sports calendar… hell, just this past season fans have survived TWO postseason exits to New York. My grievances are all-encompassing, but we’ll start at the top with the worst…. the Philadelphia Union.
Yep – that’s right – two seasons ago, the Union were a championship-level MLS club. Despite adding the youngest pro ever, Cavan Sullivan, the Union mismanaged their roster resulting in the dismissal of the head coach and many questions heading into next season. The Union has every opportunity to drive excitement ahead of the 2026 World Cup instead it’ll be a “New Day” in Philadelphia and a huge missed opportunity in Philadelphia soccer.
The Flyers do not get a pass despite Matvei Michkov’s arrival, but an elf once told me shooting the puck does wonders for goal-scoring this time of year, eh? Shameless plug – catch Shoot! Another Flyers Show on YouTube on Thursday evenings. Your Philadelphia Eagles collapsed at the end of last season and find themselves in a similar position after a failed Super Bowl run.. Which one of Jalen Hurts or AJ Brown gift socks this Christmas to their friend… they might be Gucci, but they are still socks!
The 76ers are more focused on a new arena than building the team on the court. Tyrese Maxey will get some new energizer batteries for the holiday, but the Sixers is it be too late for the Phantom of the Process to save the basketball season?
Last, but certainly not least, the Phillies lost to the freakin’ Mets in the NLCS, missed out on the big game free agent fishing (Soto), and weren’t even invited to the international soiree (Sasaki). Looking to run in back… yet again…. feels like paying to see Titanic 3 after the ship already sank in the first film. At least there’s over-prized concessions and drinks at the ballpark. Happy Holidays, you Philly Animals!
Kyle
My grievance is when fans overreact too early in a season. Eagles start 2-2? Fire the coach. Sixers start slow and battle injuries? Trade everyone. Phillies lose a series in April? This is terrible, the Manager needs to change things. Give it time. Seasons are long. Love your teams and avoid the stress.
Seasons’ Greetings from Philly Sports Network
Kyle said it best just now. Philadelphia is a sports town through and through, but that often means that if a team goes through a small bad stretch, it’s as if they are the worst team imaginable.
So, unless your team is truly doing that poorly, lean back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Maybe we’ll see a championship in 2025. Maybe we’ll see multiple. Maybe we won’t see any. Regardless, enjoy the ride watching your favorite team play and root for them through thick and thin.
No matter what you are celebrating this Holiday season, we at Philly Sports Network would like to wish you all a Happy Holiday!
