If you could put your favorite boys from the Eagles and Phillies on a date, would you? If you had that power, would you abuse it?
With great power comes great responsibility. Tobey Maguire is still MY Spiderman. So excited about that movie.
I digress.
This will not include stats nor trends—no real information. I was sipping a Miller Lite and thinking about matching up our best boys. Please don’t mistake me; this is still a Phillies article.
I hope to examine which of our favorite Eagles and Phillies would be the most compatible—Tinder on Broad.
Jason Kelce & Bryce Harper
A bear knows a bear.
Two couple of natural-born leaders. Kelce brought a Super Bowl home to Philadelphia, and Harper hopes to bring a championship of his own.
I think Kelce’s bubbly persona would mesh well with the no-nonsense Harper. Philadelphia’s favorite center would find a way to Harper laugh at himself.
Jalen Hurts & Rhys Hoskins
I only put Hoskins with the best. To be a fly on the wall! They would talk about how much they love being competitors.
They’ve both been underdogs, that’s for sure. Does anyone remember Dylan Cozens? He was supposed to be the good one, and I would take Hurts over Mr. Tua any day of the week.
Not to mention, Rhys is a cutie. Here’s how you know I’m not lying.
Zack Wheeler & Zach Ertz
Which Zach/Zack will prevail? I’ve always thought it was silly that you could spell the same name two ways. Let’s settle it!
Wheeler’s the Zack that we stole from the New York Mets and Ertz is the Zach that stole our hearts with a little slant.
I’d like to believe they’d be very respectful to each other and wait until the other’s done speaking. It’s all about listening, so I’ve heard.
Fletcher Cox & Andrew McCutchen
Just a couple of old veterans laughing about the glory days. I would like to believe they’d split a nice bottle of Cab and order some prime rib.
The thing about the glory days is that they haven’t ended—just a couple of reliable old veterans with an OPS of 8.000.
Not to mention, Fletch isn’t new to befriending some of Philly’s others ‘elites.’ Keep working on that jumper, Ben.
DeVonta Smith & Freddy Galvis
I think Galvis could teach Smith a thing or two. Galvis has been in Philadelphia for the good and bad.
Smith will need to get used to that. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in the bad times. If Smith will stick in Philadelphia, he needs to get used to not winning a National Championship every year.
I can’t decide which of them would pick up the check, but I think it would be Freddy. Your time to hit a homer, DeVonta. Roll Tide.
Darius Slay & Jean Segura
This may end in a fistfight. Alas, there’s just something about grit.
Segura leads off by ordering an IPA, and Slay swats away the menu and says he know the owner and always orders off-menu.
This result is a plate of sushi, a lovely rosé, and so many laughs. Sometimes it just takes getting people together at the same table to realize how similar they are. Isn’t this something Slay would do?
Aaron Nola & Lane Johnson
I’m saving the best for last. I think Lane could show Aaron a lot.
Johnson was the last first-round pick of the Andy Reid era. Fourth overall, if I remember correctly. A high pick with so many expectations, and he’s proven himself. I think Nola would appreciate that.
If I may, Nola has been my favorite Phil since Aaron Rowand, and even if he was projected as a #2 or #3 starter, he’s MY ace. Sometimes you must break your nose to smell the roses.
Conclusion
The best athletes in the world are on the East Coast. Go Birds, go Phils.
Photo by Randy Litzinger/Icon Sportswire
